ever seen these articles and „studies” about the „most beautiful faces“ of the world?
if so; ever seen someone look like you?
no? me neither.
you know why? because these are not the most beautiful people in the world.
first of all, these faces are those of people privileged enough to be actually known and considered by whoever makes weird and unnecessary studies like these (and therefore wastes a lot of time, if you ask me).
you know what else?
these bs articles are trying to uphold the beauty standards, aka the mythical norm, we are taught from a young age – standards that marginalize most of the worlds wo*men and make those who believe this lie in desperate search for someone who has any feature that they carry.
search no longer, love. these standards are not considering us.
the thing is, our views are – luckily – changing. our sight has become clearer and we start to see beauty where beauty is, and not where we are taught to see beauty in or in what we are told is beautiful. we start to see the beauty of individuality, we start to see the light and beauty in each and every single person that emits beauty from the inside and conforms a standard of beauty that we have constructed, individually, within our hearts. we are letting loose of eurocentric standards as the ultimate truth, because they do not even contain a fraction of what the truth is.
it breaks my heart to hear wo*men say that they think their skin is too dark, their eyes are boring, ugly, brown. their hair is not „good“ (wtf is good hair?), their bodies „not right“ (um, how can a body be wrong..someone help me) and therefore feel less worthy…
and I know this nonsense runs in our families, too!
I know the prayers for light skin and eyes.
I know to be praised for paleness, to be damned for my tan.
I know to be cursed for my curves, shamed for times of skinniness.
I know to be told of the ugliness and wrongness of my hair.
I know to catch a whistle by a by-passer that damns your lips for being “African”.
I know to be confronted for being me –
in the home that becomes blurred memories and the one that receives sharp lines of present and future from day to day.
believe me, I have no idea how I came out of so much shit still loving myself
because I was and am not supposed to.
because I grew up with all of the above said to me on a regular basis.
internalized racism exists. and it’s destructive af.
so, dear wo*men, embrace yourselves the way you are. make yourselves free from any expectation and lie, empower each other and see societies’ narrow mind widen, see it perform self-love on levels yet unseen and tell those who choose to stay blind to go ahead and try to uphold whatever weird standards they are trying to impose on us, they’re missing out on so much beauty.
asymmetrical face, spotty skin, eyebrows the way they grow, with lots of untamed baby-hair framing this face of mine. no more shame.
and this is not the typical „no-make-up-selfie-oh-I-am-so-natural-we-should-all-be-yo“ shit.
Man, I love make-up, it’s so much fun to use, when you’ve found your way of using it!
and I know I am talking from a „privileged“ position, because I rarely have serious skin irritation, so to me it’s fun (sometimes a curse, when my skin has its phases, nonetheless), to others it’s a real blessing, medicine, support. just remember: with it, or without it, with less of it or a lot of it: you are beautiful, how could Gods creation not be?
also, if you find yourself supporting these standards as the ultimate goal – unlearn them. now.
the issue starts with telling someone that they’re beautiful for their light skin/eyes/hair, for their skinniness or “body goals”, their height.
they are beautiful but not because of them happening to serve eurocentric standards or temporary beauty trends.
do not tell anyone they’d look better with light eyes/skin/hair.
with smaller, straighter or different nose.
with smaller or bigger lips.
with smoother or straighter hair.
with wider or smaller hips.
with bigger or smaller behind, boobs.
do not compliment a person on having lost or gained weight if you do not know the reasons for the loss or gain.
if it was their goal to feel better about themselves; compliment them on their accomplishment but not on how they just got closer to the mythical norm that gives us a false “standard” to measure beauty upon.
a false standard that we need to ban into nonexistence.
other than that; you might want to ask what or if anything happened and don’t confirm and support destructive thoughts that often lead to mental health problems and eating disorders.
rethink and reflect your behavior, thoughts and words and unlearn racist, also sexist and destructive patterns in language and views.
this goes out to all of us, decades of being taught this shit takes much time to unlearn, I get it. but it’s something that needs to be taken seriously. and no, it’s not oversensitive to highlight the importance of it. we need to start in our own communities, homes, friendships. u n l e a r n i n g is as important as learning and these are processes that go hand in hand. there is no learning without unlearning.
think about it, embrace yourself, don’t forget you’re part of this universe. that makes you magic. whatever judges your being upon frames that were cut for you not to fit in is a lie.
you fit in. always and wherever you want to.
love and peace of mind,